by Dr Kathryn Parkin DC
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9 January 2023
So great to see Dr Alex George on BBC breakfast recently talking about his exploration of sobriety. Some of my patients will know that I myself opted to go sober a few months back. It’s been a fantastic health choice and one that, happily, I have not struggled with despite opting to start my sobriety right before several infamously boozy times ahead such as the festive season! The one thing though that has struck me more than the consequential financial savings, health benefits, increased clarity of thought and energy… has been the question I get asked most about it: “Why?” Back in my early 20s I chose to stop smoking and not one person ever questioned it. Rather people congratulated me on giving up what is a potentially addictive, disease inducing, money pilfering habit. But despite alcohol potentially having the same issues*, going sober rarely gets the same congratulatory response. Dr George felt that our drinking culture in the UK is auto-enrolled from early on and I agree with him. A lot of us, myself included, grow up learning from our surroundings that if you’re celebrating –you drink! If you’re commiserating –you drink! It’s the weekend – you have drinks! It’s been a long day – Have a drink! It’s been a good/bad day – Drink! It’s a Sunday roast – drink…. The list goes on. Therefore, if someone chooses not to consume alcohol it is going against “The norm” and is subsequently questioned. The road leading up to trying sobriety for myself personally has spanned the best part of several years. It did nt happen overnight. The idea of it would be triggered during various innocuous conversations such as one with my little boy - “Mummy – why do adults get to drink alcohol but children can’t?” - I did n’t have a great answer for that one! Adults process poison better??...(if you ignore the stats and any hangover you ve ever endured) Family members- “I’ve never had to see if I can go a month without alcohol just to check that I can. You must drink a lot more than me!” – That last one, going a month sober every so often, was a thing I did every so often a year and one which I know many other people do every so often too. But when I did it, I felt that was me being in control by doing it! But then: “If you were to tell me you made yourself go without carrots for a month just to check you still could, I’d just assume that you had some kind of problem with carrots” - That stopped me in my tracks for a moment. Now...I don’t think I did have “a problem” in the conventional sense just to be clear. I was nt rolling into work nursing a hangover or wishing the hours away every day until I could get my hands on the next bottle of wine. Nor was I having blackouts/illness or any of the other of the horrendous effects that can be associated with alcohol. However, when I looked objectively at my usage I did notice I was consuming alcohol for a worryingly large array of reasons. And I personally did not like that something had somehow so insidiously embedded itself into my life. When I observed my alcohol use more, to my shock, I realised the notion of things such as a weekend with friends without alcohol was now alien to me. Did I ever take a holiday without expecting alcohol?? The two things seemed to go hand in hand. And Christmas???! You’ve got to be kidding. But I realised there did actually used to be a time when I did do all those things without it and I still had a brilliant time! So why not now?? Did I have in fact a problem? I asked myself what benefits did alcohol provide me with if I was being really honest? I decided I felt alcohol was calling the shots (excuse the pun) a little too often and I would not tolerate that anymore. So a few weeks before an upcoming big potentially boozy event, before my own birthday and before Christmas, I opted to stop. I told my son that Mummy would not be drinking alcohol anymore and if children were not allowed to drink poisonous substances then neither would I. Cut to this month - January 2023 – It’s coming up to 4 months sober for me and I have nt lost any of my life whatsoever – if anything I ve gained it as there’s no more groggy mornings, I have more energy and money in my pocket and I can do more without worrying about how I’ll get there and back. I still socialise, I still go out and enjoy myself out with friends, I can get through an entire roast dinner without feeling the need to “compliment it” with a drink. I have more clarity of thought and, crucially, I have at no point felt that I’ve been missing out. Not on anything. I'm not saying everyone should be sober just because I've chosen to do so. It's just a personal choice I've made regarding my own health but I can thoroughly recommend it to anyone that might be sober-curious. There are so many more great non-alcoholic drinks out there now and also so many more people opting to be sober now too. The hardest part for me, and which anyone else thinking of going sober should prepare themselves for, has been needing to sit with difficult emotions. Life can still play difficult cards of course and when alcohol is no longer there to provide an instant numbing hit, it can be difficult. But I've discovered instead, that by identifying emotions, working them through instead of pretending that they’re not there or numbing them, amazingly, I feel I have become a happier and more in control person for it. Will I ever have a drink again? Maybe! But only if I want to. For now the time has felt right for me to stop. And I’m really liking it. And so is my body. + It is important that for anyone struggling with addiction to alcohol, abruptly stopping is not advised. Please seek appropriate help /speak with your GP about doing so. * (9,641 deaths related to alcohol-specific causes registered in the UK in 2021, equivalent to 14.8 deaths per 100,000 people. ONS)